The Lylat News XXVI

Today is the day Bill has gotten out of custody. It was hard using his own strengths against him, but the K.G.L.E. (Katinian Governmental Law Enforcement) succeeded in giving Bill a taste of his own medicine. Falco had been giving us clues all along, perhaps now is the time we are all understanding them. Stupid logic, Bill being captured, what can this all mean? Perhaps this is the beginning of the Falcist Inspiration.

“What I have foretold will be understood in the time of the Falcist Inspiration.” -Lord Falco

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The Lylat News XXV

The K.G.D.A. has finally decided a stupid enough plan to catch Bill. Bill has already been captured. The Katinian Government simply said follow us to jail and he was sure it was a trick. Whenever Bill tried to attack the Katinian Government they continued to ignore all attempts he had at hurting them. They knew he was too stupid and the only way to fight him was with more stupid. Perhaps this is the way we can defeat Bill? Maybe we can use the theory of stupid logic to our advantage.

“Fight with your opponents weapon.” -Lord Falco

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The Lylat News XXIV 3/17

We should really stop making promises about posting weekly. We will post periodically but there will hopefully be a few more weekly posts starting now. Today Bill tried to bribe Fox into betraying our beloved Lord Falco. Bill is being punished severely by Katinian Government. His disgracefulness is making it difficult for the government to handle. Hopefully the Katinian Government Decision Assessment (K.G.D.A.) will be able to come up with a suitable punishment. Can they out-stupid a disgrace?

“Bill is to stupid to outsmart.” -Lord Falco

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The Lylat News XXIII 1/13

Sorry, we had a long pause there but we’re back. The only difference is that we now post weekly on Sundays. The current news is that General Pepper is taking a business trip to Katina to discuss with them and hopefully convince them that the Venomians no longer have hostile intentions. Most Venomians would tell you that the Katinians are the real bad guys because they are blaming the Venomians for their own mistakes. One Venomian told us that part of the reason he doesn’t like the Katinians is because that is Bill’s home planet. Could the Venomians be right in their suspicions? Or is this just an affect of racism based off of Bill?

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The Lylat Daily News: 10/31/12

Happy Halloween to everyone in the Lylat System. Today, the votes have been counted up for the Katinian Pyramid Vote. They are going to keep the pyramids and people are starting to relax a bit more about the Venomians. Most of the evil Venomians left when Andross was defeated so they figured they would be safe for now.

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The Lylat Daily News: 10/28/12

General Pepper, it appears, has given up on his idea of cleaning Zoness. We are seeing a lot of lawn signs on Corneria saying, “KICK OUT PEPPER!” Despite the fact that he has given up on cleaning Zoness, people still think he will come up with another horrible idea to contribute to the Lylat System.

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The Lylat Daily News: 10/25/12

Peppy Hare has announced that he plans to make more interesting attractions on Corneria and have more festivals and such. He likes to call it, “more barrel rolling activities for the barrel rolling community.” Hopefully soon we’ll be seeing some of those interesting new ideas President Hare wants to bring to us and the rest of Lylat.

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The Lylat Daily News: 10/22/12

We won’t be uploading as much for the time being due to construction of this website. However, we will put things on here every few days. The Katinian Pyramid problem still has not been solved. If you scroll down on this website you can find the vote. Anybody in Lylat can vote since it is a tourist attraction to other planets as well. So far, it looks like we are going to keep the pyramids. Some people are very happy about this, others not so much.

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The Lylat Daily News: 10/19/12

People have been complaining that we have not been publishing this online newspaper daily. We are sorry for theĀ inconvenience, but we have been working on other parts of the website. We are currently gathering info for the Corneria page, and people want us to upload more of the Great Book of Falcism. Once again, we apologize for theĀ inconvenience, and we hope we didn’t frustrate anyone.

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Katinian Pyramids Vote

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